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Is he saying he only sleeps on the bottom bunk — ask yourself: why? Has he been using something that prevents him from doing anything else?

He is looking to dominate? If so, is this something you really want to do with a total stranger? One way to screen for problems is to take the time to talk to the person on the phone.

This means old fashioned voice communication. If so, simply tell them it is not a good match and politely end the call. Now you know why I suggested using a trick phone.

Last point here — if they refuse to talk on the phone, consider this a major warning sign of trouble and discontinue communication!

This is perhaps the most important tip of all. If you feel something just seems weird or are concerned in anyway about your personal safety, call off the hook up.

You are not obligated to follow through. This point is very simple — listen carefully to your inner voice. As mentioned earlier, the 10 online hook up safety tips offered here are not exhaustive.

My hope is to spark conversation and awareness around this issue with the hope of promoting personal safety. Speaking of personal safety, if you are ever in a situation where you are being attacked, please consider reading my personal self-defense tips.

Huge thanks for the great tips. I know that's hard to meet nice guys who are looking for a relationship So now that's not a problem for me.

I met a lot of cute guys and my current BF online. There are many guys who is interested in a committed relationship or Also, none of my photos shows up on reverse search.

I have tried it. Are my photos real? Personally I disagree with using a fake name and not giving out your real phone number.

I reverse image search every single picture a guy sends me. If nothing pops up I ask if they have a snapchat or a phone number.

If they have a phone number I use it to check them out on facebook. Basically if any of your pictures aren't yours Ill know from reverse image searching , if you claim you don't have snapchat unlikely , if your facebook search comes back with a different name than you told me, and you refuse to give out your phone number you are automatically blocked.

I expect to know exactly who I am dealing with and have a way of confirming that unless you want to meet in person first, which can be a nuisance for random hookups.

Physical Intimacy. Attracting a Mate. Date Ideas. For many queer men, the element of fear and "Who's this guy going to be? I can't even count the number of times when I've met a guy on Grindr, and he's left his apartment door unlocked—or even given me the code to get into this apartment—and I've found him tied to his bed, completely nude, and blindfolded.

I love sexual encounters like this, but needless to say, you have to be careful if you're planning on trying it out. There are obviously huge risks involved in having anonymous sex with people you meet on an app, both in terms of physical safety and getting robbed.

From my vast, vast experience using Grindr and other apps , here are eight tips to help you feel safe and comfortable when you go to meet a guy IRL.

Every person who's real on Grindr and not catfishing has multiple pics. That's just how this works.

You should easily be able to get five pics, and not just ones of his dick. Tell him you want to see his face.

If he says he "doesn't have" them, you are definitely not going over to his apartment. Mind you, it takes all of four seconds to take a picture of your face, upload it to Grindr, and send it.

If they can't do the bare minimum, don't bother meeting up. When you get his phone number, it's another method of validating his identity.

If they were someone who plans to harm or steal from you, they wouldn't want to hand out their number, since it can be traced back to them more easily.

Again, not a full-proof plan because in theory they could be using a burner, but it is yet another way to help make sure that the hookup is safe.

Grindr does not. But if you have his phone number, you can ask to FaceTime him, too. But others will be more than happy to briefly chat before meeting up IRL.

There are numerous apps to share your location with friends, like Find My Friends , but honestly, the easiest is to share your location directly from your phone.

All you have to is head into the specific contact, and at the bottom, it'll read share my location. I'd rather just have no sex than creepy anon face-less sex that so many people seem to want.

I have no idea how that gets them off. I'm almost completely invisible on Grindr. I don't know what it is about me; I know I'm far from ugly, but SO few guys are interested.

I guess because I'm over I'm 47 and met a hot 23 year old university student on grindr a few months ago.

It went so well it has become a semi regular hook up. He sends me a text asking how my cocks doing and then comes over and I give his ass a good pounding.

Leaves afterwards and we both get what we want. Not a lot of fuss or drama. You are cheap tarts that give respectable, decent, hard-working men bad names.

Propensity for isolation, group sex, chickenhawklng, 'breeding', obsession with porn and porn acts, poppers. None of it is decent behavior for intelligent, sensitive, grown men.

It's shameful. Self-destructive, self-hating behavior. R28 Please get over yourself. Your post is a little too preachy and judgemental.

Just because other people do things that don't fit into the limits that you define as decent doesn't make them indecent, shameful, unrespectable, self destructive, self hating or any of the other negative labels you used in your post.

Sounds to me like you need to keep an open mind, just because it isn't for you doesn't mean it's wrong. Name calling and putting negative labels over a dozen in your post on people you don't even know won't validate your position.

And most likely is a window into your own insecurities. Prison, unpaid child support But he had a dick of death that he loves to use on black mouth and ass, and I let him.

And I'm going to do it again. Do you have to get over the feeling of emptiness after anonymous sex or do you never feel empty in the first place?

Serious question, no judgements implied. When did gay men get so sex negative? Sex is one of the few pleasures we get in this life and no, it doesn't need to be wrapped up in the imaginary constructs of love and monogamy.

There's something profoundly sad about people whose immediate response to talk of sex is "how dangerous! No one is describing sex as "sad" or "dangerous," they are describing anonymous sexual encounters as potentially being that way.

Why do you refuse to understand that? Walking down the street is "potentially" dangerous too. Look, I agree that people should try to be safe when they're meeting people for sex.

There's just an inordinate amount of finger wagging throughout this thread, and I doubt it comes from genuine concern. Still depressing.

Lucky an encounter didn't involve violence. It would easy to walk in and do something awful - anonymously - and leave. No one would ever know.

This happens in ANY thread about anonymous sex - or even sex, in general. I had plenty of random sex with apps since they came out in , and I never got stabbed or robbed or contracted an STD.

Now that I am 36, it's exhausting to hook up online. It takes 20 days for 20 min of bad sex. It's all flakes and people holding out for their porn star fantasies who don't exist.

I've found the apps particularly bad lately. The whole prep thing is also an issue - many guys won't meet if I say I won't have sex without condoms because they're on prep and I should be too.

Nothing changed. I'm really curious what changed in the last years, because I had assumed it was me being elderly in gay years. However, even if I go back to being 27, it's still the same.

There was a study about millennials having less sex posted here I think , and maybe that's part of it. Are they just holding out forever until they get a message from their Sean Cody fantasy man?

Are the app users just bored? Are they confusing Grindr with PokemonGo? Good question, i'd like to hear honest answers, but i figured you'd be called a pearl-clutcher.

There's a big gray area between complete monogamy or celibacy and quick, noncommunicative, possibly very risky sex with strangers that you found by looking at their photos in an app.

I think the latter would leave most mature people feeling a bit empty r If the guy is bad and mechanical, there's some version of "emptiness" like you'd get after eating at McDonalds.

It's not soul crushing or some kind of existential crisis. It's just makes you think, "well, that was a waste of time. Sometimes, you can weed those out before meeting them.

This is not so black and white. You can go into a bath house and have 3 hours of hot passionate sex with someone There's a lot of variety with what people want and what they do.

Some people are happy with the mechanical quickies. I am not. If people are that way, I usually can't even cum I just avoid that type person in the future.

Usually it's the much younger guys or guys with giant checklists of questions and not even basic conversation. Grindr doesn't seem the safest of apps and having a regular sex partner or havig friends with benefits would be a much better idea.

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